Forming relationships can be a fickle thing. Forming relationships when having a disability, is a little more complex. People don’t always realize the amount of work that goes into forming relationships yet alone doing so with a disability involved. There are little differences when it comes to forming relationships with people with disabilities, lets break it down.

We all know that to be able to form bonds with people, we need participation from both sides. An equal amount of effort being put in by all participants leads to successful bonds to form. From my own experiences, I found that having a disability, people who you form these bonds with, are special. Special, in the way they are willing to put in the extra to aid you when necessary. Being in a type of relationship with someone with a disability, I would say, needs more effort. I hate stating that in writing because it shouldn’t be the case. The more I think about it though from my own relationships with people whether it be friends or family, sometimes it takes more on the able-bodied persons side because of their energy they put into the relationship to ensure your happiness and safety.

I have lost many relationships as my disability isn’t always the easiest thing to deal with in some cases. Since I almost always need assistance with daily things like travel or even dishing up my own food at a dinner party, people tire of having to come to my aid. I don’t blame them in the least, after all, it isn’t what they signed up for in the first place in some cases. When it came to my disability, I don’t think many people were properly informed of how sever it is thus they weren’t exactly expecting  all that came with my disability.

I have seen situations where people want to be involved in a person’s life and as soon it was clear about any disabilities… well, any chance of a relationship is shut down almost as fast as the mass shut down during Covid. In my defence, I find this heart-breaking to the disable community because sometimes a chance isn’t even given  as a result of pure honesty.

The reason I am talking about relationships, is because a question came up about said topic at the end of a motivational talk I presented last week. It made me realise that I wanted to make one thing clear to as many people as possible. That point being, just because someone has a disability or impairment, does not make them any less capable of love, friendship or just being a shoulder to cry on. Furthermore, I have noticed that people with disabilities or impairments, appreciate and respect those that mirror these emotions towards them.

As the great Elton John  and  Britney Spears recently sang, “Hold me closer.” No person should be alone, everyone should have some kind of relationship with someone, even if its just your best friend. Relationships don’t always have to be considered romantic or vice versa. Just as long as there is someone in your life you know you can trust and count on, that would never fail you and wont stop loving you for who you are then you pretty much set to go.

In her song, “Extra Ordinary,” Lucy Hail sings the following lyrics. “I’m not your average, average person. I don’t know much but I know for certain, that I’m just a little bit extra, extra. I’m just a little bit extra- ordinary.”

I find that these lyrics, and other lines in her song outline the ways that people are not what you would expect. If someone is just given a chance, they might just leave you flabber gasted in all the ways you wouldn’t expect. You may just be surprised with what you might find in someone you wouldn’t ordinarily have give a second thought for…